THE TURBOTICIAN MYTH OF SAFARI
The story begins where the Chinese craftsman Wind
Ding Dong, the Russian fur-dealer Vladimir
Input and the German schnitzeltester Prest
Aschon Sangst where drafted to their respective armies for unknown
reasons. Something was brewing it stated in the draft obligation, and
for the first time in history it wasn’t beer that was referred
Each at their respective training camp, the 3 beardless young men went
through severe speed pilot training, which later should demonstrate
to be insufficient to master the movements of the metal skybirds.
Within weeks they were sent on missions, each from their respective
base, and after they all successfully had completed several (9) deeds
of bravery in the air, the 3 were, unknowingly, at the same time being
prepared by their superiors for a mission of such importance that the
existence of the whole world depended on it. The mission was called
In the midst of high-action an incredible storm developed and Dong,
Vlad and Prest lost control over their planes as they where sucked into
an enormous tornado, and their planes crashed into each other with such
a force that the 3 pilots were slung into the eye of the tornado and
fell and fell and fell.... in the silent pit of the storm.....All 3
perceived that there were more persons falling than themselves as they
heard the desolate screams of each other being echoed by the inner tubed
wall of the tornado...... This was the first time the 3 men met!
If it was some divine power or just an earthly miracle that convened
in history at that point of time, only The Turbot Queen will ever know,
and she shares the most confidential secrets only with a few chosen
The common consciousness of the 3 found itself on dry land but the sound
of heavy waves overwhelmed the sense of hearing, approaching decibel
levels of hundreds upon hundreds.... Any normal hearing would not be
able to bear this, but it seemed as the 3 men had gone through a process
of some mystical kind, which made them all able to hear the sound of
each single wave,
and compare it to others, including the big wave monsters of super low
It was particularly Vlad the Russian furselling rebel who had been touched
by bass prominence in such a way that through his hearing he could ride
the biggest waves as a surfer, all at once, and he could tune them with
his effectbox, pedal-shaped feet. Prest Aschon Sangst seemed to have
gone through another dimensional gate, as the waves were all whipping
and lipping for him, making drumlike sounds and rhythms, at times fully
distorted by the electronicity of the percussional God or Guardian of
the inner subsounds. Ding Dong on the other hand heard the waves blow
and sing, as voices and sounds had never blown nor sung before, and
he was the first of the 3 to express his state of being at the deserted
beach of the island of unknown name they were on!
he exclaimed, and opened his eyes to the diminishing darkness of the
the Russian rebel replied in a low voice from a different side of the
beach surrounded by tropical forest, overgrown, mostly all the way down
to the water, but with a few white sandy stretches smiling to the bedready
P.A.Sangst coughed in a rhythmical manner, and the 3 men looked at each
other from a distance, no one of them taking the initiative to approach
But the island was deserted, actually there was no other human around
for more than a thousand miles in every direction, and the 3 men soon
started to appreciate each other's friendship and company.They learned
to hunt, fish, cook and survive and soon their gifts of musical apprehension
drove them to create sounds and rhythms with the flora and materials
of the surroundings. First one by one, then together, and the joy of
of their vibes went straight out to cosmos, and straight down to the
deeps of the deepest ocean dwellings, where they were appreciated immensely,
by the Turbot family and their beautiful, everwise Queen.
From that point, each time they would wonder about something in their
discussions, the 3 men would perceive a voice speaking to them inside
their heads. First they thought they were going in sane, each one of
them, but as it happened again and again, they started to share the
experience with the 2 others, and found out THAT THEY ALL HAD HEARD
THE SAME VOICE!!
Startled by this discovery, the next time the voice appeared in their
(common consciousness) head(s), they looked at each other the way they
had agreed upon to indicate that the voice was present. The voice spoke
solemnly but with something like inner peace and joy and this time it
said something it had never said before. It proposed to them to help
them return to civilisation, and described in detail how this could
all be fulfilled.
The men, overeager and overwhelmed, gathered their heads to discuss
the implementation of the plan. Already at the next breach of day they
were to be met by the messengers, miraculously flat Turbots of high
intellect who would lead them to their destination, with the men well
anchored on their flat heads.
The relatively beardful young men were ready at dawn, and the messengers
arrived. The 3 had been told not to carry any worldly goods, so with
their naked bodies as the only luggage they stepped upon the steady
flat platforms of these beautiful exemplars of a psetta maxima that
came to meet them, and they took off with incredible speed and smoothness,
to the unknown depths and darkness of the deep.
The Queen was waiting for them with a big, warm Turbotician smile! She
knew their souls already, and was now about to share hers with them!
The 3 young men stared with awe at the zebra striped immaculatly oval
shaped flat, yet immensely powerful bodily being, and without a command
from the queen's side, the 3 simultaneously bowed down and exclaimed
unisonicly: We are you, you are us, thus, we are the Turbots!
When the following ceremony was over, the 3 men had grown in size and
in wise-ness... The messengers were ready to bring them back to civilization,
and this time Wind, Vlad and Prest were standing freely on their flat
bare billowing backs, being one with the kind of their messenger brothers
and sisters... forever! Turbotician Safari stripes had made themselves
visible on the strong muscular bodies of the previously solely human
trio, the Turbot spirit had become them, as they had become it, to their
fingertips, and they knew their mission well!
Now able to survive under any condition, Aschon Sangst, Ding Dong and
Put It In rapidly tackled the trivialities of everyday societal life
and soon found themselves in a big center with unnumerous instruments
from every part of the world.
Their beards having grown to unseen lengths, their spirits speaking
with unknown degrees of wisdom and their eyes shining with unheard sound,
the 3 where let alone to discover the hidden secrets of all these faboulously
They spent weeks in this peculiar place and when these weeks had passed,
they were immersed in love of what they had been through together, and
by the crowds, they as a group, had been declared the number one of
modern musical magic with performance perspectives added all along!
They had chosen their instruments and their instruments had chosen them
and something like that, and they all had decided to occasionally wear
a hat, the instruments also.
Their mission appeared, clearer than clear, to convert any mother that
would deny to share
And from broad daylight, they stepped into the night, and brought their
beings and their message right into the present light, where they have
come to meet and greet YOU ALL :-)